• Year of Publication: 2024
• Author: Mustafa Ismaili
• Publisher: Fadaat Publishing House

I knew that humans always tend towards a state of psychological fulfillment to conceal the emptiness and boredom that lie in wait for their life and existence on this earth. This fulfillment might be an illusion, a religious belief, high ideals, a struggle, or an excess of pleasures and desires.

My passion for life was all-consuming. I would escape from myself and the disappointment of sad mornings to satisfy my desires in the madness of the night and enjoy seeing people remove their daytime masks, transgress morals and standards, try the forbidden, get dizzy to feel safe, run red lights, ride their untamed horses, squander money, and seize desire with all greed until it reached its peak intensity, and they would rejoice and weep, praying for the night never to end and the bottle never to empty.

So I loved to leave the paved roads. I began to need some madness in my life, and that overwhelming pleasure we feel when taking risks. It's the same madness and the same pleasure that made the orchestra on the deck of the Titanic, on the verge of sinking and doom, continue to perform beautiful musical pieces.

I realized that my passion for life would kill me. Because I do not want to be herded among the sheep, nor do I want to die foolishly. Instead, I want to dig up the heavens and the earth before they pile dirt on my body.

Life is short, Rafif. And I still have the joy of living, a frenzy for life, and roses in my heart.

...Who can stop the bleeding of this body? I am the female, I carry my breasts on my chest. I walk naked on a moonlit night, my body covered in wounds. The light of the stars and the glow of the moon scorch my skin. I close my eyes, raise my head, spread my arms to the sky, and walk towards the distant horizon until the dimensions swallow me.